Some tales, weren't lies.

Some tales, I am still hurting from.

Those were the tales, you walked away from.

But no, I don't hate you.

But yes, it's your karma.

So I'm building that bridge now.

But you, have you gotten over it yet?

Does Christianity connect with Maharaj in any way?

Oh my God! Finally, the connection that I have always wanted to hear about, and have been searching for. Thank you Stephen Wallinsky. You should be preaching out there, and spreading the good word. I officially have fallen in love with your teachings. Bringing religion into spirituality, is the easiest way to educate the masses.

"I AM (is) the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.", the I AM is the portal.

The sword Jesus brought is the truth there is no you, or me; there is nothing you can do because there is no you. There is no God, God is. People do not want to hear this, they like their self improvement books...

How amazing that different religions and spiritual paths can come together as one, for one purpose. The finding of the inner I AM. Tell me how amazing is our Universe that it can works in such ways unseen.

I'll leave with a quote from Nisargadatta Maharaj, author of the book "I Am That"

"To know what you are you must first investigate and know what you are not. And to know what you are not, you must watch yourself carefully, rejecting all that does not necessarily go with basic fact ‘I am’. The ideas: I am born at a given place, at a given time, from my parents and now I am so-and-so, living at, married to, father of, employed by, and so on, are not inherent in the sense ‘I am’. Our usual attitude is ‘I am this’ or ‘that’. Separate consistently and perseveringly the ‘I am’ from ‘this’ or ‘that’ and try to feel what it means to be, just to ‘be’, without being ‘this’ or ‘that’. All our habits go against it and the task of fighting them is long and hard sometimes, but clear understanding helps a lot. The clearer you understand that on the level of the mind you can be described in negative terms only the quicker you will come to the end of your search and realize your limitless being."

I've been feeling so empty and this feeling never seems to fade away. I don't know anymore. How am I supposed to feel? Do I have to get a wake up call from something tragic to happen in my life before I realize my purpose here?

I regret the mistakes I made. I regret the fibbing, the making up of tales. I regret, I led you on with no one taking the lead. I regret allowing myself to fall in love with someone I never ever meant to fall in love with. I regret finding you different, only to be proven otherwise. But really, most of all I am sorry that I hurt you despite knowing that you hated being lied to. It is totally understandable, the way you feel that is. It's just that I guess, in the process which I thought was harmless, I got hurt too. I am not saying, my hurt is bigger than yours. I am just saying that I'm sorry. I wish you were reading this, at the same time I wish you weren't. In other words, I just want to dig a hole and bury my head in it.

I despise the feeling that I allowed someone to define my happiness but I know that you'll make someone else out there happy. So please will You give me the strength to move on and move forward in life. Will You please help me see how many blessings I have in my life and not constantly lament of the downsides of it.

This constant reminder of you, is so draining. I look at Alfy bear and all I think of is you. Before I hit the sack, all I think of is you. There are so many things I wish to say here, but blogging is way to open for the entire world to see.

I feel a hurt I can not even begin to imagine. I feel like I'm bordering the line of sanity and insanity at times. I know You let me make the choices I made, I know they were stupid ones, but I can't seem to move on. I know its not Your duty to make me feel better, but with a little grace from you, help is all I can ask for.